Tag Archives: joy

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He is Enough

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Photo by Gift Habeshaw on Unsplash

How priceless is your unfailing love, O God! People take refuge in the shadow of Your wings.  Psalm 36:7

I so long for the simpler, easier days.  I long for the days when my house didn’t need repairing.  I long for the days when the floors were easier to keep clean (though we love them all, we had fewer pets).  I long for the days before my youngest son went to live with his father in another country.  I long for the days when I was debt-free.

Those days were good.  After the emotional roller coaster of divorce and the slow but steady re-building of our lives, it was good…peaceful…and as I clung to the Lord, our relationship grew deeper and sweeter.

I look around me now, still in the midst of a house renovation that seems to be taking forever, missing my son more than I ever thought possible, and I have to wonder…what happened to my peace, and my joy, and my contentment?  When did they leave, and how had I not noticed their absence before?

Pondering this, I cry out to the Lord, “When did You stop being enough?”

The answer comes swiftly.  It was when my focus shifted from Him to my circumstances.

Ouch.

Peter said to Him, “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.” And He said, “Come!” And Peter got out of the boat, and walked on the water and came toward Jesus. But seeing the wind, he became frightened, and beginning to sink, he cried out, “Lord, save me!” Immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and took hold of him, and said to him, “You of little faith, why did you doubt?” Matthew 14:28-31

Peter went from walking on the water…walking on the water…to looking at his surroundings.  He saw Jesus, Yeshua, walking on the water, and he did the same…until he looked away, and his eyes told him that what he was doing wasn’t possible under those conditions.

Did you catch what happened next?  When Peter took his eyes off of Jesus, he began sinking, and when he called out for help, Jesus immediately reached out for him.  Immediately.

Isn’t that so reassuring?  What He did for Peter, He will surely do for us.

Why are you in despair, O my soul? And why have you become disturbed within me? Hope in God, for I shall again praise Him for the help of His presence. Psalm 42:5

The Lord fills our lives with good things.  Family, friends, pets, jobs, and homes are good.  We enjoy these gifts, and thank Him for them. If we’re not careful, though, we can allow them to become idols without even realizing it.

You don’t think that can happen?  I didn’t, either, until the word divorce came up and I was suddenly faced with the possibility of separation from my youngest child.  The Lord was so gracious to me.  He showed me my heart, and it wasn’t pretty, even though it already belonged to Him.  I had to give my son completely to the Lord, even if it meant separation from him.  It wasn’t easy, and I cried many tears, but I felt such freedom afterwards, and peace like I had never known before.  In His mercy and kindness, the Lord allowed my son to live with me for the next five years.

When we allow anything to take the place of our Savior, when we hold on to anything tighter than we hold on to Him, we err.

The Lord allows it, too.  He allows us to fret and fuss and become miserable until one day we reach the end of ourselves and know we cannot continue down this path any longer.  And so we repent.  We return to the lover of our souls, no matter what we have to let go of in the process.  His peace, joy, and contentment then return.

For thus the Lord GOD, the Holy One of Israel, has said, “In repentance and rest you will be saved, in quietness and trust is your strength.”  Isaiah 30:15

Surely I have composed and quieted my soul; like a weaned child rests against his mother, my soul is like a weaned child within me. Psalm 131:2

Is there anything you’re holding onto tighter than you should?  Is your focus on your surroundings or someone other than the Lord?  May I encourage you to let it go, and readjust your focus?

Jesus, Yeshua, is enough.  He is more than enough.  He is truly all we need, and in the end, our relationship with Him is what will matter.  Truly.  Call out to Him, and He will come, immediately, and stretch out His hand to you and rescue you.

Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Hebrews 12:1-2

Lord, thank You for Your patience with us.  Please keep a tight grip on us so that we won’t wander, but when we do, thank You for bringing us back and reminding us how deeply loved we are, and how freely You forgive us when we ask.  Help us to let go of the things that hinder us, or keep us from fully following You.  Help us to keep our eyes firmly fixed on You, for You are more than enough.

Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. Matthew 11:28-30

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What a Difference a Day Makes

This is the day the LORD has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it. Psalm 118:24

One night awhile back, I had gone to bed hot and irritated.  I live in Florida, and our air conditioning had been having issues for weeks.  After several service calls, the issue had still not been resolved.

There is a balcony off of my second floor bedroom, and tall palm trees in my backyard block the view of the neighbors.  As I prepared for bed, I opened the balcony door, hoping for a breeze to help the ceiling fan cool me.

For the first time in weeks, I slept.  No outside noises woke me during the night, and the Lord sent a breeze to cool me.  I woke well ahead of the alarm I had set.  In the darkness, I contemplated going back to sleep, but instead decided to just have a time of quiet reflection.

I watched as the darkness gave way to light, and watched the breeze blow gently through the palm leaves.  There were still no outside noises – no slamming doors, no vehicles starting, no barking dogs, no voices shouting.  It was peaceful.  It was perfection.

So the LORD said, “Go forth and stand on the mountain before the LORD.” And behold, the LORD was passing by! And a great and strong wind was rending the mountains and breaking in pieces the rocks before the LORD; but the LORD was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of a gentle blowing. 2 Kings 19:11-12

It took me back to my younger days, and my very first apartment.  Money was very tight – so tight that I often ate what I called poor man’s pizza, which was nothing more than toast with spaghetti sauce and Parmesan cheese.  To save money, I often slept with the windows open.  I lived on the third floor, and palm trees blocked the view of the neighboring apartment buildings and the shopping center across the street.

I was a new believer in Yeshua (Jesus), and I greeted every morning with the joyful expectation of spending time with Him.  I devoured the Word of God.  All of my free time was spent studying, praying, and listening to songs about Him.  He filled my life.  He filled me.

Seasons come and go.  Life gets busy, and sometimes the important things are relegated to a lower place in our lives.  It isn’t intentional, and sometimes isn’t even apparent until we have a nostalgic moment, and then we long for the simpler times.  We quiet ourselves, and the Lord whispers that if we slow down and spend time with Him, today can be that way, too.

He reminds us that with all of the distractions of this life, He is peace.  He is hope.  He is there.

What a difference a day makes.

Because of the LORD’s faithful love we do not perish, for His mercies never end. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness! I say: The LORD is my portion, therefore I will put my hope in Him. Lamentations 3:22-24

 

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Not Abandoned

Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will take care of me.  Psalm 27:10

A couple of weeks ago I had an awful dream.  Long after waking, I was still filled with the emotions that I had experienced while dreaming.  The effects lasted a couple of days, I’m sorry to admit.

In my dream, my beloved and I were having a mountaintop experience, literally.  It was a dream come true…or at least it should have been.  Upon arriving at the destination, however, things took a different turn.  There were people everywhere, talking and laughing, and we became separated – twice!  To make matters even worse, when I talked with him later (still in the dream), he admitted that he hadn’t even realized that I wasn’t with him the second time we were separated!

To say the dream was on my mind that day would be an understatement.  I knew it was important, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on the reason it was staying with me and bothered me so much.  It wasn’t until a few days later that the Lord showed me what was going on in my heart.  One dream, two revelations.

Revelation #1:  The Lord showed me that I’ve done the same thing my beloved did, but on an even greater scale.  How many times have I gone about my day, got busy and forgot about Him?  Made decisions, made plans, spent time with family or friends, and not included Him?  He longs to be included in everything we experience.  He is our constant companion, the lover of our souls!

Revelation #2:  I’ve written before about how I lived with fear for most of my life, and it was such a part of me that I didn’t even recognize it.  Even as a Christian, it was with me, until the Lord took it away.  You can read about it here if you’re interested.  He healed me from feelings of rejection, too, but that’s a story for another day.  Well, I also lived with something else, and I didn’t recognize that, either!  This thing was behind many of my bad decisions.  It clouded my perception and judgment and negatively affected every relationship I’ve ever had.  This thing, this chain, kept me bound to a poor self image that no amount of compliments, encouragement, or personal accomplishments could erase.  The chain that bound me was a feeling of abandonment.

I was blown away by the revelation.  I grew up in what would be considered a fairly stable home with both of my parents, stable in that life was pretty predictable.  I went to school, did what was expected of me, and started earning money as soon as I was old enough to babysit.  I didn’t physically lack for anything.  I later married, and divorced, but my ex-husband and I remained on good speaking terms, so I still didn’t think I had any reason to feel abandoned.

Over the course of a few days after that dream, though, the Lord began showing me things that had happened early in my childhood and throughout my life, things long ago forgotten, that left me feeling very unimportant, unloved, and very much alone.  Kind of abandoned.

When I was a child, a common saying was that children were to be seen and not heard.  Talking about feelings just wasn’t done, so I kept them all inside, where they piled up but were never addressed.  They just became a part of me.  Hurts covered with invisible bandaids.  And to be fair, many parents at that time were raised the same way, so they didn’t talk about feelings, either.  I don’t believe they knew what to do with their own feelings, so they didn’t how to reach out to their children.  There are always exceptions, though, and if you were raised in a home where there was open communication, you were blessed.

I am learning, though, that the Lord doesn’t like bandaids.  He prefers to remove them so that He can do a deep, thorough cleaning so that true healing can begin.  And begin it does.

It doesn’t always feel good.  We like our bandaids.  We like to keep the pain buried so we don’t have to think about it or keep experiencing it.  Out of sight, out of mind.  But that isn’t His way.  He wants us to be whole, to be able to give and receive love, and to experience life fully.  He wants us to experience the abundant life that He died to give us.  He died, but He didn’t stay dead.  He rose from the dead, and in so doing, raises us from the dead, too.

Can a woman forget her nursing child and have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, but I will not forget you.  Isaiah 49:15

Here’s the thing.  I didn’t even know I had a bandaid, or that I had these feelings of abandonment.  It was news to me.  He brought it out in the open, though, in His gentle way, and healed that part of me.  With every healing, I find that I can hold my head a little higher, and because I no longer view things through that particular filter, I am able to see things a little more clearly.  I am learning that things are not always my fault, and that sometimes people hurt us because they are hurt, too.  As the saying goes, hurt people hurt people.  True, and I am truly sorry for those I have hurt because I was hurt.

But for you who fear My name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its wings; and you will go forth and skip about like calves from the stall.  Malachi 4:2

I know there is more there that He wants to heal, and I am confident that our great Physician will do so with the utmost care and gentleness, in His timing, as I am able to bear it.

The Spirit of the Lord is on Me, because He has anointed Me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent Me to proclaim deliverance to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to release the oppressed.  Luke 4:18

Jesus said that He came to heal the brokenhearted and set the captives free.  I have been brokenhearted, and I have been held captive by the pain of the past.  If you have, too, I encourage you to ask Jesus to remove the bandaids in your own life, and let the deep cleaning begin.  I can’t promise it will be easy, but it will be worth it.

He tends His flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart; He gently leads those that have young.  Isaiah 40:11

About a week after the Lord dealt with my feelings of abandonment, one of my very favorite writers, Jamie Rohrbaugh of From His Presence began a series on that very subject.  Here is a link to the first article in the series:  http://www.fromhispresence.com/4-signs-you-have-a-stronghold-of-rejection-and-abandonment/.  I can’t tell you how much I have learned from her posts, and how much the Lord has used her in my life.  She is a tremendous blessing to me, and I believe she will be to you as well.